Total Weight Loss

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Thanks for the helpful suggestion with goal setting in response to my plea for help the yesterday. I think the idea of setting more controllable goals is a good one, and one that works for most people. The whole goal setting/attaining & perfectionism are all bound up together for me. That makes even those more controllable goals difficult for me.

For instance, I'll set a goal to exercise three times a week. Seems reasonable and sane. Somehow, though it morphs from being a goal to the minimum acceptable standard. Meeting the goal of exercising three times a week is not good enough. I must exercise 5 times a week because that has to be better. Exercising three times a week is no longer good enough. I create a vicious cycle. In time, I beat myself up to attain something that is virtually impossible. The same thing with counting calories.  If eating 1400 is good, eating 1200 would be even better.  The next thing I know, I'm trying to stay under 1000.  I'm calling it perfectionism.  Maybe it isn't.  Maybe it is something beyond perfectionism, since I always have to be just a little bit better. 

I've been working on the perfectionism. I've been allowing myself 'error' and not mentally berating myself over it. Maybe it is time to try again. Instead of a goal to exercise so many times, or eat a minimum number of calories or carbs, my goal will be to give myself a break. I haven't decided quite yet what that will be, but maybe my goal will be to exercise only three times per week. It seems counterproductive, so I'm not sure. I'll give it some thought. Any ideas?


  1. Oh, I hear you! I have been trying to let go of my inner perfectionist and am making progress. As I read this what jumped to mind was that you should set a range that you think makes sense. Like - exercising 3-5 days per week or eating 1200-1400 calories 6 days per week. What do you think?

  2. haahha. I could have written this post, except after the example of say, exercising 5 time because my goal was 3 time, I'd have to add--"then I get upset because I can't meet my own unreasonable expectations that are beyond the goal I set, feel like a failrue, and I don't exercise at all."

    Yep. That's my spiral.


  3. Karen,
    You are a wise woman. Maybe that will be the ticket for me!

  4. try finding something you enjoy doing and don't call it "excercise". i enjoy sweatin to the oldies and bellydancing. but i really treat it as me time and NOT excercise.
    the bigger Q is why do you need to be perfect? who's expectations are you trying to meet, who made you feel you're not good enough growing up? give yourself permission to be human. it's ok everyone will still love/adore you even if you occasionally fail. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  5. OH dear, you're talking about MY life...