Most people agree that my hands are pretty. Complete strangers have told me so. I have always thought that my hands are my nicest feature. I have nice fingernails that naturally grow long and even glamorous. I love to paint my nails. Even as a child, I remember asking for red fingernail polish rather than a toy at the store.
Over the years, I have gotten pretty good at self manicures. I have a kit that requires five bottles of polish and takes at least an hour. Once I do that, my hands are drop dead gorgeous. When I was single I used to do my nails while I watched TV in the evenings. I would do the active part during commercials and let it dry during the show. It worked quite well that way. The odor bothers 65MD, so I don't do it that way anymore. In fact, I don't polish my nails so much anymore.
At the store on Saturday, I found a bottle of pretty red polish on sale and bought it on impulse. When I got home, I was a little frustrated with myself for buying it. I thought I would never use it because I just didn't have time to polish my nails anymore. On the heals of that thought, I realized that time wasn't the problem. Time was not the issue itself. It was the time it took to do the whole involved process of the stellar manicure. I realized that if my nails weren't going to be 'perfect' I wasn't going to do them. It was a real 'aha' moment for me.
So, I forced myself right then to polish my nails with the drug store polish that I'd just bought. No cuticle prep, no base coat, no top coat, no chip resistant coat, just polish. I cringed at first a little, wondering if I was ruining my nails. But I forged ahead. I also promised myself that if they chipped, they chipped. (that is another issue I have with nail polish!)
Guess what? My nails look just fine. They aren't perfect. They could look better, but why? They look very nice for my regular day to day life. If I were going to some fancy occasion, I'd feel more compelled to do the hour long ritual, but otherwise this is all I really need. See for yourself...
I'm hoping as I go forward, to recognize other areas in my life where I've held myself to much too high of a standard. If I can begin to recognize those things and take steps to relieve myself of that burden, I'll be a happier person at the very least. I'll probably be a lighter person too because as I let go in one area, it will make it easier to let go in others.
Because you are so focused on getting to the bottom of this perfectionism, I truly believe you will find your answers. But finding the answers and then working through them are two different things and the whole process will take time that will seem very slow. Be patient! Hope we can help out as sounding boards.
ReplyDeletelove those aha moments! and you do have VERY pretty hands! (they go with the rest of the georgous package by the way!)
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