Total Weight Loss

Monday, September 20, 2010

Eat Hearty!

This morning the scale read 184.? I can't remember the last digit, but it really doesn't matter. My weight is up yet again. This time, however, I know why. I ate at the church picnic yesterday.

In the interest of full disclosure - I ate a hamburger on a white bread bun with mustard & pickles. I'm fairly certain that the beef was not grass fed, nor low fat. It was bought in bulk and generally those are not the high quality stuff we want in our diets. I ate 10 or 12 sun chips, a spoonful of baked beans with real bacon, a spice cookie and a brownie. I also drank one bottle of water and two coke zeros.

I could try to reframe this in to a positive in that I ate far smaller portions than I have in the past. I selected sun chips thinking they were a better choice than regular chips and I only ate two desserts. While all that is true and indicates a positive change, I would be deluding myself if I stopped at that. I've been in situations where all the choices were 'bad' as they were yesterday and I've not eaten. I've brought my own food. I could have easily done that yesterday, but I did not. I was throwing a bit of a temper tantrum.

I'm tired and grumpy. Sharon knows me better than I know myself. Her comment yesterday was spot on. I'm mad that this is going to have to last the rest of my life. There is no finish line. Even when I get to my goal, I will have to be diligent with each and every meal. When I look at it with my calm, rational, grown up brain, that is no big deal. Most days, what I eat is nothing spectacular. It wasn't when I wasn't dieting either. It was poor quality and too much, but it was nothing to write home about. I have no idea what I ate 3 years ago today. There are very few meals that stick out in my mind, so why am I pouting like a toddler about what I won't be able to eat years from now? It is part of the mental process, I suppose.

I'm up 7 pounds in a week. There is no excuse for that, not hormones, not crazy schedule, nothing. Now, I'm having to deal with the consequences of my choices. Before, I've been able to honestly say that I'm back on track and ready to get back with the program. Now, I'm feeling a little fragile. I want to get back on track and move forward with the program, but I'm doubting myself. How many times can I fall down & get back up? As many times as it takes to get to my goal, but falling hurts. I need to figure out why I'm falling so much, so I can stop.

I know one reason - someone told me yesterday if I lost any more weight, I'd look old. I'll blog about that tomorrow.


  1. Wow, well that was nice of them. Haha.

    I know the feeling of frustration. Every so often it really pisses me off that i have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life. At the same time though, I'm always able to remember that I am as I have chosen to be. If I want to lose wieght and be healthy, there are some sacrifices to make.

    I know it doesn't help, but it does suck. :)

  2. It always helps to know that I'm not alone!

  3. You'd look OLD? I hope you kicked them!

    Its all going to work out in the end, and it won't be something that will be as difficult as it is right now when you get there, I truly believe that it will become a bit more routine, even if you do have to stay vigilant.

    Hugs to you!

  4. This post broke my heart, but I kind of suspected that's where you were. I was where you are when I realized I'd gained 7 pounds (same as you) in one week that had taken me three months to lose. As you know, I'm still struggling, but by george, I am going to do it and so are you!

  5. I feel your frustration!!!! So easy to gain even though we are eating way better than we would have in the past! Its not fair! One day a while back I had this realization that the reason it is "different this time" for me is that there is no finish line. There wont ever be a time that its okay to eat like I used to...which was awful! But I have come to terms with that and now realize that I CAN have treats here and there and its okay! This past week I have a bunch of half filled out pages on my food journal. I started out great in the morning and by the end of the day wasnt so great. I think blogging makes the world of difference. Keep it up!

  6. Hmmm, How many times can you fall down & get back up? At least one more. Maybe zillions more, but all that matters is that you do so one more time.

    Set backs happen. Keeping the distance between set backs as far apart as possible is our challenge. When they do happen, recognize it, announce it to someone as you have done here. Next up is to realize that this minute is the time to move onward. Make your very next choice a good one, put the set-back behind you and take a step towards a healthier you. You've announced it, so, what is the next choice going to be?

  7. I second what Patrick said! At least one more time.
    My focus now... since I seem to be having down days more than up... is to not quit.
    As long as I keep getting back up, I am still succeeding. Failure = not trying.
    Yes - this will be the rest of my life.
    No - I will not always be happy about that (probably never be exactly happy about it).
    But I can keep going.
    So can you!